I never really thought I’d catch myself saying something such as this, but here we go… I thoroughly ENJOYED my dentist appointment this semi-early mornin’. I cracked open my eyes, and my ‘tude was surprisingly crank-less (I am far from a morning Marsha.), so I pre-rinse gargled and brushed the living shit out of my teeth then hit the door. Not only was it unnecessary for me to sign in, but it was like Lil’ Jon was running that bitch and his “Real Nigga Role Call” joint was their theme song. I hit the chair, kicked my feet up, and got laced-up with the laughing gas mask. My dentist obviously wanted to get it poppin’ ’cause dude started the cavity-fill procedure stating, “Jazz my goddamn rear” and the hygienist skippity-doo-dopped to her feet and single handedly switched-up the beats blaring above. Bloomfield Hills Dental Care cranked that Lady GaGa (my hygienist also cranked the laughing gas so the doc could gimme a shot of Novocain) , and then they was goin’ in (my mouth) harder than Dr. Dwayne Carter. The playlist consisted of Jay-Z, that “Oh hot damn this is my jam… ” bullshit tune, and “Party in the U.S.gAy.” Give or take 15 minutes later, I was one cloud hoppin’ (literally outta the chair and all done) clucker. It was the quickest, easiest, and most ENJOYABLE cavity-fillage one could ever experience…
Yes, I know my right vampire tooth is chipped, but I am paying $545.00 for a flexi-mouth guard I get to wear at night due to my consistent grinding.
N.
